Throughout the last two weeks we have had a range of emotions. At times we have felt peace, and other times extremely terrified. We found a red spot on Maggie's head on Sunday and the both of us about lost our supper. With having mysterious counts a week prior and then adding to our previous experience of spots, we were worried that Maggie had definitely relapsed. By the next morning, that red spot became a bruise. Whew, relief...
We have tried to make sense of her counts, trying to make ourselves feel better. Of course it was a viral response, we would say to each other. Just think about what is going through our house and some of the different symptoms she was portraying. After that we would feel better and then in would creep doubt once again. Visualizing how our life would change if Maggie did indeed relapse was terrifying as well.
There were some moments of God during the last two weeks to help us through this as well. As I sat nursing Colin, I remembered two songs that we had in our wedding. One of them was "Deep Peace/A Gaelic Blessing" by John Rutter. The other was "Trust" by Sixpence None the Richer. Below are the words and links to hear the songs. It seems a bit odd for two people to choose these songs for their wedding, since they are not traditional wedding songs. As I reflected in the last couple weeks, I think God was telling us something about our life before we even knew what we would eventually be enduring. It brought comfort to know that God was speaking to us almost 10 years ago at the start of our life together. We have also experienced other songs this week with the word "trust" in them. God was talking to us and though it was harder than ever to trust, given this situation we were in (again), we could see these moments.
The counts we received today are better than they have ever been. Maggie's ANC (ability to fight infection) was 4300 (normal is above 1200). Two weeks ago it was 940. We have not seen Maggie's ANC this high since she was off treatment. Andy told me today afterwards that he had prayed last night that God would give us counts that we would not have to question, and having a very high ANC and low percentage of lymphocytes, was quite a definitive answer.
We feel a great sense of relief and exhilaration. When we got in the car to leave, we played one of the songs that got us through the week, "He Never Failed me Yet," by Robert Ray (see below). A great culmination to a hard two weeks.
We want to thank you all for your continued prayers, especially the last two weeks and today. They are what continue to get us through these difficult times.
And if I might ask for another prayer request for my family- My Grandpa Lehman has been in ICU for almost a week with encephalitis. Please pray God's healing and peace for my Grandpa. Please also pray for my family as we are going through another difficult experience after losing my Grandma not quite 6 months ago.
Deep Peace (A Gaelic Blessing)
Deep peace of the flowing air to you
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you
Deep peace of the shining stars to you
Deep peace of the gentle night to you
Moon and stars pour their healing light on you
Deep peace of Christ, of Christ
The light of the world to you
Deep peace of Christ to you
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
Lean not on your own understanding
In all of your ways acknowledge Him
And He will make your path straight
Don't worry about tomorrow
He's got it under control
Just trust in the Lord with all of your heart
And He will carry you through
Lord, sometimes it gets so tough
To keep my eyes on You
When things are going rough
When things are going rough
But when I turn my eyes up to the sky
And I hear Your voice it says to me
So child do not be weary with the troubles
Of this world I have overcome
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
Lean not on your own understanding
In all of your ways acknowledge Him
And He will make your path straight
Don't worry about tomorrow
He's got it under control
Just trust in the Lord with all of your heart
And He will carry you through
He will carry you through
He Never Failed Me Yet
Trust and never doubt
Jesus will surely bring you out
He never failed me yet
I will sing of God's mercy
Every day every hour
He gives me power
I will sing And give thanks to Thee
For all the dangers, toils and snares
That He has brought me out
He is my God And I'll serve Him
No matter what the test
Trust and never doubt
Jesus will surely bring you out
He never failed me yet
I know God is able
To deliver in time of storm
I know that He'll keep you
Safe from all earthly harm
One day when my weary soul is at rest
I'm going home to be forever blessed
Trust and never doubt
Jesus will surely bring you out
He never failed me yet
He never failed me, He never failed me yet
He never failed me, He never failed me yet
He never failed me, He never failed me yet
He never failed me, He never failed me yet
He never failed me, He never failed me yet
He never failed me, He never failed me yet
He never failed me, He never failed me yet
Trust and never doubt
Jesus will surely bring you out
12 comments:
Thank you for this wonderful post, Whitney. And thank God for the solace of music. Which your grandfather knew so well also. Love and prayers always. Great Aunt Phyllis
And by the way, Maggie's liking Leonard Cohen's "Halleluja" says a lot about her taste in music. Or, at the least, it seems to have some similarities with mine. :)
Great Aunt Phyllis
Praise the LORD!!!
~Cindi
*Halleluja*Halleluja*Halleluja*
I am overwhelmed right now with happiness and joy for you and Andy. I know what you both have been through. I just thank God for Him answering all the prayers in keeping Maggie healthy. When I listened to "Halleluja" and watched the purple words scroll on the screen, I just got goosebumps and was overcome with emotion. I can't thank God enough for answering Maggie's prayers! And you, Whitney, saying that Maggie's new song is "Halleluja" is just precious. It all is so heartfelt! Sometimes we don't know which way to turn in all kinds of situations. I have found when I listen to songs similar to the ones you listed, they really can help you through tough times. I listen to Ray Boltz alot. He is uplifting. I have said for years that "music is my therapy".
Take care and give Maggie and Colin a hug and a kiss for me. Have a great weekend! :)
Love, Tina
And I forgot...Sorry. I will be praying for your grandpa and hope he gets better real soon.
Also...Many continued prayers that God watches over you and keeps you all healthy.
Thanks for keeping us up to date on things! You both do a wonderful job! :)
Love, Tina
Oh HOORAY! We are so glad that Maggie's counts were so good! Such a relief. And of course we will have your Grandpa in our thoughts and prayers. =)
Wonderful news about Maggie's counts and God's comfort & support. Love from Cousin Carol
Rejoicing for all of you. God is a GOOD God YES HE IS! Thank you Jesus! Love, The Mussers
Amen!
Whewww.....so thankful!
I heard about your blog and your sweet little girl via a prayer request a couple of years ago. My heart is so happy for Maggie, what a praise - God is faithful indeed!
Jen Weiser and family
Praise God! He holds us close...even when we doubt.
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