Thursday, October 1, 2009

Sacrifices

I learned about two years ago that being a parent means taking sacrifices. Sacrifices of time, sleep, physical appearance, food (as I have learned that Maggie eats first and I get the scraps), etc. But given the situation that we have been in the last 15 months, we have learned that we must also sacrifice our careers and goals. Andy did this last year by taking a year off of school to be home with Maggie while I worked. Yesterday, I decided it was my turn.

My job switched employers in July and I was awaiting for the job to begin once again. Originally, Andy and I thought that I would no longer work because of the job flexibility being lost, however, conveniently enough, they decided to contract the work out where I would be able to have my office at home. With this promise, we decided that I would work evenings and weekends and then have someone watch Maggie occasionally when I had to work during the day.

All was in place until yesterday the employer changed their mind. They wanted me sitting in an office for 8 hours a day. Anyone who knows our situation and dealing with a child with cancer knows this isn't feasibly possible. A child with cancer has a compromised immune system where putting them in child care would mean an automatic ticket to several days in the hospital dealing with fevers. Maggie also has not ever been around kids so regardless of her immune system, her body isn't used to dealing with other germs. On top of this, there are doctor visits, physical therapy sessions, and the much dreaded steroid week. These are all situations I see it necessary for me (or one of us) to be present.

So for this reason, Andy and I have decided that Maggie is much more important than financial security and we are willing to take the leap of faith (though I think we've been taking too many leaps lately and I'm getting a bit tired of it), to do what we think is right for our family. My would-have-been-employer told me last night after I had tried to negotiate the position and was declined, that she believes in miracles and if in 24 hours I could find child care for Maggie (which wasn't our main issue), that I should give her a call. I hope there are miracles, but not for the sake of my job, there are much bigger things to wish miracles upon, and she's sitting right beside me.

14 comments:

Unknown said...

Whitney - I've been following your blog since I saw the link on the O'Briskie blog (Craig is my nephew). You are most certainly doing the right thing for your family and Maggie. Any employer who can't see beyond their profits and be more understanding of your situation doesn't deserve you. I'm sure in due time something better will come along. In the meantime, always remember that I am always thinking positive thoughts for dear Maggie, and for you and Andy too.

Katie B (wife of Rob B) said...

*hug* I truly believe that you are making the right decision. I know that this is another big leap of faith, but God is looking out for your family and is working in amazing ways. Hang in there and try to use some of the extra time you'll have to find little ways to relax, be thankful, and pamper yourself -- you deserve it!! We're praying!!

Anonymous said...

Whitney, I heard about this earlier today and I can only say you have been on my mind all day. It is unfair and I cannot believe the lack of compassion and empathy of individuals. If there is anyone who can do this job it is you and by the way, it does not require as you very well know, sitting at desk from 8-4. It is about relationships which apparently others have failed to comprehend. You are in my deepest prayers and thoughts and yours and Andy's faith continues to amaze me. And you are right, miracles don't exist in jobs, but in the people we love and I believe in your miracle.
With my deepest thoughts and love,
Stacey

Anonymous said...

Whitney, I too discovered your blog through a link on another and have been hooked to the plight of your family ever since. I believe there are miracles all around no matter how small. Perhaps it's partly a miracle that you are able to stay with Maggie. I'm sure the monetary hit will be hard, but you get to be that much closer with her and share every moment whether good or bad and she'll grow up knowing you were always there. It's plain to see what wonderful parents you are and it's a miracle for Maggie to have you and Andy by her side as well as you to have her =) No matter how hard things get, please know that your story is touching others and bringing awareness even to perfect strangers =) Maggie is showing us all what miracles are all about. You are in our thoughts and prayers everyday and we wish you the best of luck in all you do.
-The Miller Family

Nicki said...

Whitney and Andy,
I am so sorry to hear this news on top of everything else you are dealing with. I'm sure in the end it will be a blessing to you.
I was so disappointed I did not get to talk to you tonight. As soon as I saw Andy walk by with Maggie I said to my friend, "there's Maggie!" :-)
She is so adorable. My heart breaks for all of you. I think of you everyday.
Nicki

Unknown said...

Whitney, I've been thinking about you all day. I'm sorry that I didn't get your call last night, I was already asleep. I can't believe that this has happened to you! It's so wrong. Please let me know if there is anything at all that I can do for you. If you want to take my job in Wapak, it's yours. Truly. I wouldn't have it but for you. You're all in my thoughts and our prayers.
Take care and hope to talk soon.
Christina

Gwen Ernst said...

Amen to that last sentence! Enjoyed walking with you guys tonight. While I know this "leap of faith" may not always be easy, I believe God will bless you as you follow your heart in putting Maggie first.

kensingtonlawyer said...

What a goofy employer to say what she said...I think in the end you will luck out and something even better is awaiting you in the future. I know what you mean in many ways, because I ended up closing my law office to take care of Lydia...no easy way to re-open a 6 year old business in this economy, but life goes on, and I know, no matter how cliched it sounds, that when God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window. Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

You and Andy seem to have awesome timing...one seems to take over just when the other needs it so badly! That's pretty amazing. All Maggie knows is how much you two love her and that you are always there to make her feel better!
I'm sure this is not the financial situation you wanted to find yourself in but for sure this too shall pass and hopefully not having to worry about work right now will turn out to be a welcomed blessing.
Always praying for the three of you!
Hugs and love,
deborah

Anonymous said...

You are reminding us that there are values more important than the financial. Reminders all of us can use.

I am glad not to imagine both of you worn out by jobs outside the home plus caring for Maggie, even with an assisting care taker.

Even without Whitney having work outside the home, the two of you still have far more than two full-time jobs.

Love and prayers always.

Great Aunt Phyllis

Jerad said...

Sorry I missed you guys last night at the walk. What a night. Pretty emotional, but pretty spectacular.

Sorry to hear about your job Whitney. I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason and I'll pray that you look back someday on this as the best thing that ever happened to you. And I don't know exactly what you do, but I know a lot of folks at WSU and Clark State so please shoot me an email with some details (jerad@synergybldg.com).

Also, I am catching up on a few weeks of the blog, and I noticed your comment about Sue the parking attendant. I think she's sweet as well, so I saw her this afternoon and told her about you mentioning her in the blog. She said to tell you THANKS, it made her day!

Hope all continues to get better with Maggie's diarrhea and hope to see you guys soon (maybe not in the Hospital for once!).

Anonymous said...

You are making the right decision. And as bad as the whole situation is, please believe that God IS working for the good of your family who loves Him (Romans 8:28). You are called to a greater purpose and only through your leaps of faith will you fulfill that purpose and bring glory to God. I am sometimes shocked at how "stupid" people who have no clue about kids with cancer can be. We've been there and know how hard it is and your child is blessed to have you there 24/7. God will take care of the finances. We were amazed when He covered our mortgage for 3 months. He's an awesome God!!! Praying for you daily!

Karrie's Mom!

Unknown said...

Whitney,
I continue to pray for your situation since you spoke with me about it. The ELLS network will miss you tons!!! I know that things will work out for you, one way or another. You continue to amaze me with your strength! God will take care of you, Andy, and Maggie. Let Him show you His amazing love for all of you!
Stephanie

Jenny said...

Dear Whitney,

I worked in the Wooster City Schools Music Dept. with your Dad back in the 80's and love your parents.

I love what Sandra said and also "Anonymous, "If there is anyone who can do this job it is you and by the way, it does not require as you very well know, sitting at desk from 8-4. It is about relationships which apparently others have failed to comprehend."

It is all about relationship. You and your husband are loving, wonderful, compassionate parents. You both and Maggie are blessed with each other. You are all in my prayers.
Sincerely, Jenny Bartelheim