Maggie took a step back today due to a procedure of re-taping her breathing tube. This happened the other night where they paralyzed her to tape her tube and in doing so, her CO2 jumped into the 120's and her heart rate jumped into the 160's. The reason for this in simple terms is that Maggie has been breathing over the ventilator, breathing between 40-60 breaths per minute, and when they paralyzed her (both times) she was unable to do the work to release the CO2 and the ventilator wasn't set at a place that could do the work for her. For this reason, we have spent all day trying to regain the ground that we were at days before. Needless to say it has been quite frustrating at times, given that the same "mistake" has happened twice.
For this reason along with Maggie's continual retaining of water, her lungs have not improved any. I feel as though we have hit a wall, waiting to move forward. Unfortunately, some of the medical team hasn't helped in pushing her forward as we have had these 2 setbacks in the last 36 hours. There was talk today that it could take as long as another 4-6 weeks before we get out of here. That was a very tough pill to swallow today, given that today marks our 4 week point in ICU.
It has been 4 weeks since we have been able do the most simple things with Maggie that probably everyone takes for granted with their own kids. It has been 4 weeks since we've been able to hold Maggie, listen to her call us "Mommy, Daddy"(or "Andy"), see her smile, hear her voice, hear her cry, laugh, say "no way," say "hold you," watch her do her favorite thing which is to "write," hear her request to watch her favorite shows & then watch them all day, watch her wake up and look over at us and smile, put her on her potty & listen to her say "poo & toot," hear her respond to our "I love you's," and give us kisses. There are so many things that we mourn right now, being unable to experience life with her. It breaks my heart.
I haven't felt bitter, angry, but the moments when I see tears running down her eyes and I can't pick her up and comfort her make me feel as though life isn't fair for us, but more for her. She doesn't deserve to be laying in a bed, heavily sedated, fighting each day for her life. She deserves to be outside like any other child, laughing, playing, walking, and even running. When will she get that chance and when will we get to experience her joy?
These last 4 weeks have been the hardest time for us. People might think when Maggie was diagnosed with cancer, that was the most difficult, but watching Maggie in ICU fighting each day has put us in a place that we wish we'd never have to experience. It has been very tough for me to watch Maggie, to experience each high-stress day, to feel as though we aren't getting anywhere, to be told that it will be a slow healing process, to be told that we are strong. I'm not strong. I'm holding on by a thread and with every new setback, that thread gets weaker and weaker. How long will this last? How much more can we take? Maggie has proven to us that she is very strong. I just wish that I had that strength (and please don't tell me I do, because it's not the case).
So, those are the raw feelings of 4 weeks in. If only we had a crystal ball and knew how long we'd be doing this. It might be easier. But for now, we wait...
48 comments:
Uggh, Whitney, I love you, friend. I am praying without ceasing that you will be able to "see" your Maggie again SOON-and that you will feel like you're able to hang on until that day.
You're all in my thoughts nearly constantly!
With love,
Elisha
My heart hurts for you as I've thought those same things "She should be outside running around, enjoying the sunshine." And here are many many many prayers that that day will come very soon.
I wish I could come to the hospital to provide you some relief! I just cannot imagine.
Many hugs and many prayers -
Kristy
You are very right, Whitney, YOU are not strong. You are, however, a temple of the Most High God who is stronger than anything. HE is what will get you through this. HE is what will keep you going. HE is what will let you cry, vent, and be weak when your human self just can't do this anymore. That is when all of our prayers and the love of God Himself will help you stay together...don't feel like you have to stay strong all by yourself. Allow yourself to rely COMPLETELY on God's strength...that's what He has to offer you because you, my dear, are His child, His beloved. Rely on His Holy Spirit inside of you. My personal opinion is that Maggie's own strength you see every day is coming straight from God Himself because her body is so weak. Use her example of relying on Him and do the same in your own way. Here are a few verses that are brought to my mind tonight for you...
"...the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength." 1 Corinthians 1:25b
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Romans 8:26
"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10
Many, many, many blessings of GOD'S STRENGTH to you, Andy, and Maggie in your time of desperate need,
Angie Thieszen
Keep fighting Maggie! We love the memory we have of you eating every butter packet in site at Boes' wedding! I know that you will be doing that again before we know it. We are always praying for you.
Love,
Bethany
Andy, Whitney and Maggie,
My heart and my prayers are with you all. If there is anything we can do to help carry this burden, please don't hesitate to call.
We will pray the Holy Spirit will continue to comfort and give you rest, and will continue to strengthen you and Maggie.
We love you all.
Zeke, Shanda, and the girls
Dear Whitney,
The photo of you and Maggie is so very tender, precious and beautiful. I am so saddened by all each of you (all 3 of you) have experienced and are continuing to experience. I know it is very hard.
People often told me/tell me I am strong/was strong as well. It doesn't feel like it when you are in the middle of things, and you want to scream inside but can't, or you feel as though you are shattering into a million pieces....but can't let go for a second because you know you need to be there for her.
It is devastatingly hard and cruel what you are going through. As you observe, there is no way you can sugarcoat it, and no way I would even attempt to do so. What you are experiencing is inexplicable suffering...mysteries of the human condition I will never understand. I so agree with you about Maggie and just wanting her to experience some normalcy, and many is the time I have had similar thoughts. The unfairness of things becomes overwhelming at times. These questions and mysteries may never have answers...I don't even pretend to know the why's.
All I know is that you can and will make it through this because you love Maggie. Somehow that love will give you the strength that you need day in and day out to carry on. Try to take things just days at a time...don't look too far down the road. I know there was a point in our journey with Liddy that in order to survive and hopefully, thrive, I had to literally take it second by second, and the work up to minutes, and then hours, just to make it through. I found music to be wonderfully helpful, and two pieces that were meaingful to me were "Peace Like a River" and "It Is Well With My Soul". Try to focus in on something that can provide you some small aspect of peace.
Thinking of and praying for you: for strength, for wisdom and for Maggie's total body healing.
Love and prayers,
Monica Miyashita, Mom to ^Liddy^
Whitney I pray every day for you and your family. For strength, for courage, for Maggie's healing, for you to be able to hold your little girl again. I will continue to pray.
Oh, Whitney, I hurt for you as you bear up through events I know I wouldn't handle as well. In many ways strength, like real love, is a choice. Each day you are choosing to hang on one more day. I believe that you'll have those wonderful times with Maggie, laughing, playing, etc.
When I've been overwhelmed I cling to Philippians 4:13. The apostle Paul has been going through some very rough times and says, "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." I believe that God provides the strength we need to hang on one more day and I'm praying that He continues to do so for you and Andy while He continues to work in Maggie's life and recovery.
Love you all.
Debbie M.
There just aren't words to describe my sorrow for what your little family has been through and is still going through. And with Andy back at work again you must feel like it has all suddenly gotten even harder to cope with. Each time I pray for Maggie I also pray for you, Whitney, and for Andy, for strength to cope with all you face. You WILL find the resources to hang on because you must and because, as a child of God, you have all of His power to call on. He takes our weakness and makes it strength. He is holding Maggie and sustaining her. He is holding you and sustaining you. He is faithful and He will get you through this.
Praying that you have a good, quiet, night tonight so that all of you can get some rest. Praying that tomorrow morning starts a day in which you see Maggie again making progress toward complete healing. Trusting and continuing to pray. Love, Cousin Carol
I check your blog each day hoping for a positive turn in Maggie's healing, I am so sorry that she has had 2 setbacks due to a medical mistake. I pray this does not happen again & she is able to recover sooner than they think. I want you to know that while I do not know you, I cannot imagine your journey & I take nothing for granted with my own little girl. I have always treasured her, but now, I look at her with different eyes - this from your dear Maggie & another little one who battled cancer. I will never take the time I spend with her for granted. I pray that very soon you will be watching Maggie play & hear her sweet voice.
I love you sweet sweet friend. Praying for you. When I'm back I will come to Cincinnati to visit. Remember you are deeply loved. Jess
That picture breaks my heart this morning. Thanks for your honesty. Tons of love to you guys. Praying.
After I read this last night and cried my way through prayers/begging the Lord for a miracle I was reminded of the story of Aaron and Hur.(ex 17:8-13) When the Isrealites went to battle they would win as long as Moses held his hands up. He soon grew very tired so Aaron and Hur came and each held an arm up for him. We are all here to do that for you. As you grow weary the Lord will provide the strength through friends (and complete strangers such as myself) to help carry you through this. We will not cease in our prayers for your strength and Maggie's complete healing.
I read the post last night, but checked again this morning to see the picture. Oh sweet little Maggie. I think of you all the time. I feel guilty for living my life knowing you have been living yours in a hospital for weeks. I try to not say stay strong because I know that is not the right words. I will say stay positive. Still not easy,but try to stay positive.
And we are all waiting with you, praying always, and believing in the mighty power of our God!
Savior, He can move the mountains, our God is might to save, he is mighty to save....
We believe He will move this mountain too.
This photo of Maggie and her Mommy makes it so real to me. The love of a Mother is so tender and pure, and the eyes of Maggie shows to me she understands that love. I was so sure that things would turn around this week, but maybe next. God gives us the ability to hope and pray and thats is what holds us together. Love Illinois Auntie
Sweet baby Maggie... she is so strong and beautiful. She's in our family's hearts and prayers and thoughts each and every day.
Whitney and Andy, Please know how many people are praying for you and Maggie. You don't know us, but we've been praying for you for weeks and now have many others from our church, family, and friends all over the country praying for you as well.
You are right. You don't have the strength to get through this. But we serve a Mighty God, and He will give you (and has been giving you)the strength you need to carry you through these tough times.
We look forward to meeting the 3 of you some day.
We love you in Christ, Bruce and Rita (Chattanooga)
Poor baby girl... this is so, so ridiculously long for her to be having to spend in a hospital bed. From one mommy to another, I mourn for you and for your baby.
This sounds unbearable I know, but 4, 8, 20, 52 weeks are nothing in the life of a precious daughter. Hopefully the big picture will begin to show its sunny side. Praying for you sweet little baby girl.
I meant that the weeks are nothing in comparison to having her with you for the rest of your life, not that they mean nothing. Just hoping that you can hold on to the hope of bringing her home for the summer and beyond.
It saddens and angers me that you have to go through this downer because of a mistake. While reading the blog I also thought of the phrase from IICor. 12:9, "for my power is made perfect in weakness." And it is true. I am being reminded of my youth when I always thought I won't really trust God till I know I can't get through it myself, as I found it easier to trust me than God and I was always able to handle things, though sometimes a bit muddlely (I made up that word) till I got through college and into teaching. I can't remember if you know or not that I taught in the Hough ghetto of Cleveland just before the race riots of 1963. It was a Blackboard Jungle experience. One wretched day the second year, I was called to the phone during a social studies discussion. When I returned my class of 39 black students looked at me in a different way than they had before and woud say nothing to anything I would ask trying to get back to our discussion. I finally in desperation said, "Did the assistant principal, (who was black and had been with my class while I was on the phone) say something to you that you won't tell me?" One brave little boy,raised his hand and said, "She told us that we should be very very good because some white people think black people are bad, and if we are very very good, maybe you won't think that." I breathed a "Help," to my heavenly Father and he gave me these words. "It is true that some white people feel that way, but I am not one of them. And I need your cooperation now or we can't learn anything." Till that point the difference in our races had not made a difference, and we had had free open discussions. That freedom and openness never returned. More experiences of black professionals hindering my effectiveness occurred that semester and the sitation became so bad I nearly had a nervous breakdown. I will spare you more details unless at some future time you find it might be useful in your work. But God was with me through every dark horrible minute and I became a much stronger person because of it. Whitney, I sense that you are much like me in this regard. Have been able to handle on your own all that life has thrown at you thus far till Maggie's illness. I had to let go and let God. For me it wasn't an easy process and it still isn't easy, I would much rather rely on me whose capabilities I sometimes arrogantly think I know. But deep down I know that all my strength, wisdom, and power comes from him. His Holy Spirit will speak and act when I let him. He has my best interests at heart and will keep me from falling or getting in over my head if I let him. Knowing you are not strong is the beginning of letting go and letting God. It is a wonderful experience to walk this way and the days I can do it are the best ones because I feel him with me the closest. I hope this doesn't sound too preachy. It is not intended that way but to encourage you. I love you guys very much and my prayers of faith on your behalf will continue. Cousin Ruth Ann
Father God, I want to echo Angie's prayer for Whitney now. Both are correct, we are nothing without You and when we feel we cannot take another step on our own, You carry us through the darkness into the light. I pray now You will buoy Whitney up as she continues to watch Maggie struggle and fight. I pray Whitney will experience new hope as You heal Maggie. I pray she will have the confidence to believe and pray Jeremiah 29:11 and know that God has a plan to prosper and not harm Maggie.
When Whitney feels weak, let her rest in your strength knowing You say, "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand." Isa 41:10
Greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. 1 John 4:4
We cannot know or understand your pain now but I pray you can find comfort and rest in the arms of your Savior knowing he gave you a body of believers who loves you now and holds you in their hearts.
Becky
Whitney, search out Isaiah 41:10...memorize it, absorb it, breathe it. Recite it to yourself daily, hourly, by the minute, twice a minute if you need to. During a very dark time in my life, this verse became the only reason I could put one foot in front of another. There were days that every time my foot hit the floor I had to say the word "Jesus" just to complete the step. I've come to know that God tenderly carries us when we no longer have the strength to keep going. You will get through this...there are better days ahead...when Maggie has recovered from this battle, you will remember these days and realize just how much God provided, how much He was there for you, how many times He intervened to help Maggie when humans couldn't.
Remember where the negative thoughts come from honey, shut them down with scripture. For every time the enemy tells you something negative or discouraging, answer him with
scripture. Keep scripture tapes playing over Maggie. God's word is life, both to her and to you and your husband. You cannot get to much of it. At this point in the fight, your spirit needs the most care. People can tend to your physical needs, but only God can reach your spirit with the revitalization that you need.
Remember, we're still praying all around the world for your family. Peace...
I check your blog several times a day, hoping for good news. Maggie is constantly in my prayers. I really want to thank you for sharing her story, and your story. I want to thank you for being so honest, for reminding us all that we should cherish every single moment with our children. I am greatly saddened that you aren't able to hold her, hear her talk, or make her smile. That has to be unimaginably difficult as a parent trying to help your baby. My thoughts and prayers are with you, always.
Oh Maggie,
Sorry for the back sets. What a beautiful picture of you and your mommy. The blog made my heart break. How true it is that we do take things for granted. We are praying hard and often for healing. We also pray that she will be able to get home before another 4 or 6 weeks pass. May God grant you the strength you need to continue each day. We are all learning lessons from Maggie. We love you all.
Larry and Sue Archer
Whitney,
I cannot even imagine nor to I pretend to understand what you and Andy are going through as it is something I have never had to face (and that is unfair that you have to go through so much with Maggie and as a couple, fighting daily for Maggie's life daily and those things which many of us take for granted). I think what I see may not be strength (physical, mental or psychological), but what I most see is the power of love parents have for their child. It is that strength we all see, the strength of love that guides us through the darkest of times and when you feel at your weakest, know that there are many others out here that love you and prayer for you daily. That is a strength that can strengthen the thread when you feels it's about to snap.
Love,
Stacey, Tomas, Ben and Emily
The post is filled with raw human emotion, frustration, anger and fear. The photo....speaks a thousand words....and they all are about love. Love of Mother for daughter....love of baby girl for Mommy....and it is that love that will keep you hanging on,albeit with the tiniest thread imaginable. That love begins with the first knowledge of Maggie's existence in your body and will go on for eons after we are all gone.That love that springs from the very core of your being, will be the force that will keep you there, hanging on for Maggie. She feels it and basks in it and finds strength for enduring from it.
It is so hard as mortals to understand why sometimes we have to suffer so much pain..and it does seem so 'unfair' ....why an innocent little baby has to go thru so much suffering....it is much bigger than all of us. But, already you have touched so many lives and many strangers have reached out to you with their prayers and heartfelt concern. When you are in the throes of heartache and having to watch Maggie's misery (tears,etc) it does not feel like much consolation to know that so many people care...but I hope you are able to find some comfort in feeling the 'love' that everyone is generating for you and your family. It's a strong force.
Peace, Genia
I go to church with Zeke and his family. We are praying for Maggie and your family like crazy. Maggie is a precious angel and her pic today hurt my heart so bad. I lift her up to Jesus and pray for his healing miracle in her life. Remember you are not alone you are always in everyones prayers. God Bless you all, Kathie Fracaro
Praying for you all! I cannot imagine. Praying for that corner to be turned and healing that can go forward. Praying for strength!
You both have every right to be angry, to want for your your child what most others take for granted. The picture is heartbreaking and I have been crying for awhile now....You do not have to be strong.... you are allowed scream,yell be mad at the world...Maggie does not deserve this, nor do you..her parents. I do not know you....and I am mad.. I will continue to pray.
T.
Continuing to pray for you and for maggie's recovery~mz
Dear Maggie,
I continue to think of you and pray for you every day. You are on my mind and especially in my heart. I wish that you could be all better immediately, but I know that it takes time. You deserve to be enjoying each day right now and I am so sad that instead you are in the hospital. Thankfully Maggie, you have amazing parents, whose love for you is beyond words. I am thankful you have them with you. I cannot imagine what you or your parents are going through, but know that we are still with you and sending you lots of love and keeping you in prayers.
-Janette
Dear Whitney,
I dreamed about you last night. I remember hugging you. Thank you for sharing the picture of Maggie and her mama. Deb
Goodness, I know what you mean about the medical "mistakes" and them doing doing more harm than possibly helping. Have you thought about hiring a naturopathic doctor to enter the scene and help little Maggie?? Someone who specializes in vitamin therapy who can come alongside Maggie's current situation and try to improve it. It might REALLY be worth it to look into that option, although the hospital doctors won't be a fan of that- but you're THE MOM, it's YOUR decision. You should watch the documentary "Food Matters- Let thy Food be thy Medicine" to hear a little more about vitamin therapy.
This is heartbreaking. I want to hop 600 miles and throw my arms around the three of you. Wishing that such a gesture could make it "all better."
I can only trust you to the arms of family members who are there with you.
And the arms of God.
Love and prayers always.
Great Aunt Phyllis
I am so sorry you all are going through this. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.-Delanie Isaacs
The picture is precious...oh, so precious. Thank you for sharing it with us. I know I got a "slap in the face" after I visited you a couple weeks ago in Dayton Children's. I know I fit into that category of a parent who takes things for granted. When I got to my card, the tears began to flow, and I pleaded to the Lord to touch Maggie's body with His healing hand.
I long for you to do all those sweet things you mentioned...to just be able to hold your baby girl and hear her giggle and see her sweet smile. Seems like the storm has been raging all around for so long for you all, but I know God is "hiding Maggie, Whitney, and Andy in the shadow if His wing." I too, have thought of the above post refer to Aaron and Moses. You have unseen prayer warriors all over the country (world for that matter...Dan's family in PNG and in Quebec), who are lifting your arms up as you grow weary. I can only imagine the burden of watching your beloved daughter struggle for life. While I cannot lift that burden, I will continue to hold you up in prayer. Love you guys.
Maggie's strength is so amazing! The picture is touching, and the love palpable. We are praying for you regularly. Thank you for your honesty. You are so loved, Maggie, Andy, and Whitney.
I have become wrapped up in this situation quiet by accident, I worked at Bluffton University while Morgan was a student there and she is on my Facebook.
Having had a son who has endured painful and life threatening illness and subsequent brain surgery, there are no ways to describe the grief, anger and mystery that envelops you.
Our son is now 10, full of life, very intelligent, yet gentle and kinda and understanding. We pray that Maggie will one day look back upon this and realize the miracle that has taken place and truly the gift of life.
We will hold you all close to our hearts.
The Davis Family
Columbus Grove, Ohio
My heart truly bleeds for all that you're going through. How does one get through the hell? When my sister was in the burn unit for months, my mother had to take it one day at time, sometimes one hour at a time. Look for those small signs that your darling girl is in there, the rattle and even her tears. She's fighting to be with you, to stay with you, fighting to continue to be loved. God will be there for you, your rock when you don't feel strong. It may not feel like it, but he hasn't forgotten you, or Maggie would have lost her fight. God bless you all and may Maggie come through this extended crisis soon to be cuddled by her amazing parents.
Christina
Continuing to pray everyday for you both and little Miss Maggie. Your ordeal just makes my heart hurt. My youngest is just a few weeks older than Maggie, and I can't imagine him not running and jumping around. Stay positive and stay true to your feelings about the situation!
Praying for strength for you, Andy and Maggie. Thanks for being honest with your blog followers. Thank you for the reminder of the things we take for granted with our kids. Sometimes we need to take a step back and be reminded of the things we do have, even if it is the simply things. Your family will be in my prayers.
Tiffany
DEAR ANDY AND WHITNEY,
MY HEART ACHES DEEPLY FOR THE THREE OF YOU. I AM SO SADDENED BY THE (MISTAKES) AND SETBACKS.
THIS ALL IS NOT FAIR!!! MAGGIE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL OF THIS...ESPECIALLY THE SETBACKS! SHE SHOULD BE LAUGHING, PLAYING, EATING ICE CREAM ON HOT SUNNY DAYS, AND SPENDING ~FUN TIMES~ WITH YOU BOTH...HER MOMMY AND DADDY.
ANDY...YOU ARE TYLER AND BROCK'S BLOOD. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF MY HEART! I WAS YOUR AND STEVE'S NANNY WHEN YOU WERE BORN. YOU AND STEVE DID NOT HAVE TO GO THROUGH WHAT MAGGIE IS GOING THROUGH...THANK GOD!
AT MAGGIE'S AGE YOU WERE BRINGING ME BOOKS TO READ TO YOU, ASKING ME TO WIPE YOUR FACE AFTER LUNCH, TO PUT YOUR SHOES ON AND TIE THEM, TO FILL YOUR SWIMMING POOL, TO PLAY BALL WITH YOU, TO MAKE YOU AN ICE CREAM CONE OR GET YOU A POPSICLE OUT OF THE FREEZER, AND TO PUSH YOU ON THE SWINGSET THAT UNCLE JIM MADE FOR YOU 3 BOYS.
THEN WHEN YOU WOULD GET TIRED (YOU OR STEVE) EITHER OF YOU WOULD BRING ME YOUR FAVORITE BLANKETS AND I WOULD ROCK YOU TO SLEEP, THEN LAY YOU IN YOUR CRIBS.
I JUST CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT YOU BOTH AND PRECIOUS MAGGIE ARE GOING THROUGH!!! BUT NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU ALL AND HOW MUCH I CARE AND CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR YOU BOTH AND MAGGIE AS WELL!
I WANT TO WRAP MY ARMS AROUND YOU ALL AND GIVE YOU A GREAT BIG WARM HUG! PLEASE GIVE MAGGIE A KISS FOR ME AND BLOW HER A ~GET WELL WISH~ OK.
I AM SENDING A GREAT BIG HUGE BANDAID TO YOU FOR YOU ALL TO GET BETTER AND FEEL BETTER SOON!
AND ALSO A TRUCKLOAD OF NEOSPORIN! :)
LOVE YOU ALL AND IF YOU WOULD PLEASE I WOULD LOVE THE ADDRESS AS TO WHERE I CAN SEND YOU A CARD.
Ladydolphinn61@aol.com
Take great care and know the God is still with you!!
Love Tina and Bill
So sorry to hear about Maggie's setbacks. Praying for wisdom for the doctors/nurses who take care of your precious baby girl. I check your blog often and keep watching, hoping, praying that Maggie has turned a corner and there is good news. I am sorry you three have to go through this. It just seems so unfair for Maggie to be put through all of this. I look at my own baby girl and can't imagaine what you are feeling/going through. Continuing to pray for all three of you!! Thinking of you all the time!! Thank you for posting that picture. It was so sweet to see the way the two of you looked at each other. I long for the day you can pick her up, hold her again, and hear her say/do all those things a child should be doing. I pray it comes soon for all of you. God Bless!!
I am firmly praying for absolute healing - God's timetable is beyond a doctor's knowledge - Feel Him with you -
JESUS "Our Lord" will carry you through the storms when you feel you have no more strength. We are all praying that you have some positive news today (Monday). We will not stop praying for a complete healing for little Maggie and her family. Your very much LOVED.
Love from Tennessee
Our daughter was diagnosed with cancer at 2-1/2 years old. How can I possibly summarize that experience in a paragraph or two to you? I read your updates with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat, because I understand, from similar experience. Sometimes I can't even finish reading your words, because it is too close to home. I remember trying to sleep next to Maddie's hospital crib, thinking, "This isn't the type of crib my baby should have to sleep in." I remember wondering if I'd ever hear her sing again after she hadn't sung or smiled for weeks. I remember sending up one-word prayers..."Help", "Strength", "Hope"...because that was all I could find to say in the moment. I remember Maddie learning to scoot, to crawl, to walk, for the second time in life...a strange type of deja-vu. I remember painfully missing my little girl so much, even though her body was still alive and with us; she hardly looked or sounded like who we'd known before. I hated the drugs and procedures because of what they did to her, but ironically we also had to be thankful for them, because they were attempting to save her life from something worse. I still have the same feeling when I enter a children's hospital...my heart breaks for all the kids and their families.
I share some of my memories to attempt to say that I understand where you're coming from, and oh how I hurt for you. I understand your feelings of heartbreak, of exhaustion, of weakness. And yes, it is amazing the things we normally would have taken for granted as parents of healthy kids. May your precious Maggie be restored, and may God carry you during this intense time of waiting.
Peace to you,
Amy Pflug
Post a Comment