Our next steps that we are aware of is scheduling a colonoscopy. Please pray that this might be able to take place on Monday so that they can figure things out and allow Maggie to eat once again.
Maggie found a friend today, a little boy with AML (leukemia) who just turned 2. We met them earlier in the week and just today Maggie has been quite entranced by Nathaniel. He will run up and down the halls or play with another little boy, Tim, and Maggie just watches him. As he ran past our room this evening, Maggie waved at him. It was all very cute. I think he might have a connection with her as well by the fact that when she started crying this evening, Nathaniel came out of his room to check to see if she was okay. This might just be the beginning of a long lasting friendship.
These last two days have been tough on us. I will be honest in saying that it is going better than I thought it would. When I found out the situation yesterday (I was at work) that Maggie would no longer be allowed to eat, I was very upset. Nursing is not just a means of nutrition for Maggie, but more so it's a thing of comfort to her. And I was no longer able to provide that to her. It was heartbreaking to watch her sign the word milk to me and tell her that I couldn't give her any. How do you tell a baby that they can't eat? It's cruel. I have broken down several times feeling helpless and unable to do anything for my baby.
I will say one thing about this whole situation (other than it's a horrible cruelty to my child), it has shown me how strong my baby is. She is my hero. Maggie has shown us that she can adapt to anything. She has been told that she cannot eat and instead of doing the thing she loves best, which is nursing, she has learned to find other ways for comfort. Maggie will lay on our shoulders and go to sleep that way, rather than nursing, and as long as we hold her, she will sleep. Though she has asked for milk several times, she has learned to compensate in other ways.
My baby is the strongest person that I know and I am the proudest mom in the world. I know that Mother's day is a time to celebrate all the moms, but today, I celebrate my child. It is because of her that I am a mom, and it is because of her that I am able to persevere on through these seemingly impossible struggles. And the reason for this is that strength and resilience she has shown us. She is amazing and I love her more than anything. I thank God for giving us this beautiful little girl to take care of and love for the rest of our lives.
4 comments:
Whitney, You and your family have been heavy on my heart this weekend--especially after I read that you'd gone back to the hospital. We're praying for you! Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help with anything...I enjoyed working with you Sat. and am sorry you went to the hospital instead of home! :) Praying for rest, some answers from the GI doc. and peace! Talk to you soon!
Elisha
You have truly made the words Mother's Day meaningful and Maggie has learned more than most adults have in their lifetime. Sandy
Oh, Whitney! What a beautiful mother's day meditation. You, too, are my hero; and some day when Maggie reads this blog she will be reminded of how much you, and Andy, too, have been her heroes.
This morning I weep and pray not only for you but also for all mothers who for whatever reason have to see their children go without adequate food; and for all children who are hungry.
God's spirit be with Maggie, you, Andy, the doctors and other hospital staff.
Love and prayers always.
Great Aunt Phyllis
Dear Whitney & Andy,
Each day I check on you and Maggie's progress and I am just amazed at all you continue to have to endure. Please know there are non-stop prayers going on for all three of you! You have definitely been blessed to have little Maggie in your life as has she been blessed with the two of you. Praying for all of you!
love, strength, & peace to you all!
Deborah
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