Night 10 in ICU

We have received some updated news from today. Maggie's cultures actually came back positive for Influenza A. We will know more tomorrow as to whether Maggie actually has H1N1, but it is a possibility. What this means for treatment, I don't think has changed anything. It could be a possibility that it was caused by this, but very possibly not. I don't think they really know.

Another piece of information we received today was Maggie's weight. They changed her bed this evening to a bed with a scale and she currently weighs 38 pounds. She has gained about 11 pounds of fluid in the last week plus-- over 4 liters. This is very obvious by Maggie's swelling, but it came as a shock to me.

Not much has changed for us today. We continue to walk that plateau waiting for Maggie to turn around. Her CO2 continues to be high at 76, but her PH is within reason at 7.27. Her blood oxygen level has slowly come up this evening to 80. The respiratory therapists are having to put a very difficult puzzle together, trying to come up with the correct settings to bring Maggie's oxygen up and her CO2 down. They have been unsuccessful thus far. Maggie, as they say, is not cooperating.

At first it was kind of a joke-- Maggie always going against the norm. First, she takes a chemo drug that should cause constipation, but in her, diarrhea. Now, her responses to the ventilator settings are not typical. Ha, ha, funny. But seriously, we're over it. It would be really nice if Maggie would start performing the way they would like. It's a bit disheartening when you see them shake their head as they try to "fit the pieces together."

The stress is taking years off of our life. We have been dealing with high stress all the time for 11 days now, with little reprieve. How long before your body shuts down? The emotions of the past few weeks in itself are tiring. We are so ready to see some good news, to hear some encouraging signs, to "turn the corner." An RT told me yesterday that what we are doing is basically watching grass grow. It is a very slow process, but when it starts growing, soon enough we'll have to cut it. I don't care about the slow process as long as I know that I get my baby back when we're all done. All I want to do is to be able to hear her voice again, to have her ask me to "hold you." I want to be able to see her smile. We have been fighting cancer for 20 months and I refuse to let Maggie go due to this bout. We've fought too hard, she's fought too hard. We want to take her home with us and I refuse to leave this hospital without her.

We thank you so much for the support that we have received from everyone. We wouldn't be here without it. Please, continue to pray for Maggie. It's because of your prayers that we are still here.