Last couple days

I want to apologize for not updating the blog in the last 2 days. You know what they say, no news is good news, and it was. We were able to go home on Wednesday late afternoon after Maggie had a blood transfusion. When we went home, we did all the things we had been dreaming about in the hospital for the last 2 1/2 weeks. Since Maggie's ANC was like any other person, we were able to go out around people. We took advantage of this and went the The Greene (an outside mall) and ate outside at several different restaurants. On Wednesday, as we were eating there was live music playing. Maggie was kicking her legs, clapping, and smiling the entire time. She was so happy to be outside (as were we).

Maggie was put on IV nutrition for 16 hours each night while we were home. This was wonderful as she has not eaten regularly since early Tuesday morning. She has nursed only a couple of times. She surprised us though by taking a bottle yesterday evening (she has rarely taken a bottle) and ate rice cereal last night.

We were admitted again into the hospital this morning at 8:00am. After waiting several hours, she had her spinal, in which chemo was inserted and fluid was taken to check for any leukemic cells (there were none). She also had a catheter inserted so that they can check her urine over the next couple days. She was hooked up to IV fluid so that they can adjust her PH levels in preparation for the Methotrexate. We are still waiting for her levels to become more basic so that we might begin. Since the spinal, she has been getting sick. They have given her 2 anti-nausea drugs to help that side effect.

We really enjoyed our time at home. It felt so wonderful to be free to do what we please, sleep in our bed (the limited amount that we did), eat good food, and be outside. It's hard now to be back in the hospital, back to our new "normal." We are burned out. We are sleep deprived, as Maggie is still not sleeping well. My parents can attest to the difficult nature in getting her to sleep. On Wednesday night we tried for hours to get her to sleep, only to resort to her crying to sleep for over an hour at 4:30am (we sat and cringed the entire time). On a good night, we are getting about 4-5 hours of sleep. Maggie has become very needy in that she must be held all the time and only by me or Andy. We don't get much of a break, which has been very exhausting as well. What can I say- we are at the brink of breaking down. We are trying very hard to not get short with each other (due to lack of sleep) and to keep a positive outlook, but it's been very hard the last 2 weeks. All we want is our baby to be healthy and content (to sleep and eat). With the exception of eating and sleeping, we saw our smiling, happy Maggie the last day and a half. With the chemo, this has changed which breaks our hearts. I don't mean to complain or whine, but this is the reality we are living with and it's the hardest thing we've ever encountered. My birthday is tomorrow and several people have asked what I've wanted. All I want is my baby to be healthy. That is my prayer each and every day.